So as you can see...I did a little shopping today! Got only the best deals on toddler/baby stuff! I did forget to get the required fire extinguisher...(<---not as much fun;) I promised B nothing else that's not garage sale from now until our placement...I will try...then I reali zed I never even hit BRU! We have A LOT of paper work to do in upcoming weeks...finger prints, fire inspection, essay questions, background check, marriage certificates, all insurances documentations, physical, TB test...blah, blah, blah....I vow to get much done this week before Fourth of July weekend. My mom will be in town next weekend!!
Went garage sale shopping this weekend. I spent $65. What did I get??
-beautiful crib in box and with tags still! -high chair that turns into a baby swing. -big push truck toy -puzzles and books -like new several pieces of clothing (khaki pants, swim trunks, new onesies)
Nothing seems to beat garages sales bargain wise. E-bay and Craig's list are pretty good, but not as good as garage sales! Looking forward to next weekend's big neighborhood ones! I have visions of being fully stocked for under $200. I love a good challenge! People seem to be especially generous when I explain we are going to be foster parents (please forgive me for working at people's heart strings, but it helps;)
This is just a whole new world to me because for 5 years B would not let me buy baby stuff for fear of "jinxing" us...ummm....yeah, that plan worked great...
I don't really know what my expectations were of the first preservice foster care class, but the information and the reality is mind boggling! To start, we could be approved and have a child IN OUR HOME in 60 to 90 days....wow! So this is really going to be happening?! So not like the fertility treatment world of wait wait and wait and then wait nine months...if your lucky! My mind is absolutely racing in what to buy and what to wait on. I want to go garage selling and get some basics as far as clothing, books, toys, baby gate! The other reality of this is I'm going to have to leave my job...soon! While we can "survive" without my income, losing the security of the padded bank account will be daunting to say the least! May look into a Saturday job...OH, and nothing like asking your boss for a referral AND quitting in the same month! (have to use her because I work with children) We are struggling with the whole race issue again (still?), I think we'll (okay, B) need to talk with social worker about this. I understand B grew up in a small rural town and just doesn't have the exposure to AA children, but I just KNOW there is more there than he's willing to talk to me about. I know I can't force him to change his mind, BUT I'm sure he will end up falling in love with any child we are placed with and will quickly learn to not care what people think...as you can see, we have some work to do in this area... Anyway, application will be in Thursday! I left overwhelmed but uber excited. B left with feeling more overwhelmed (he's also the money miser in the family)
Ok, so I've been WAITING impatiently (first class Thursday!!!). But I've also been reading and soaking up all the foster parent info I can get my hands on. LOVE this book-- Success as a Foster Parent: every thing you need to know about foster care (written by the national foster parent association.) So much good info! And what have I learned in all my reading? The children do not "scare" me. I love kids! I can have eons of patience when it comes to kids...in my job, I can (usually) calm the most terrified children and make progress on their dental cleaning appointment. (I'm a dental hygienist, by the way:) A terrified 2 year old with down syndrome? no problem, we'll get there! 5 year old twins with severe autism? Oh, the progress we've made! This is all because I know their limitations. I know they are truly TRYING in their own way to understand their world and why the heck I have to stick sharp instruments in their mouths;) It is the ADULTS that will be difficult!!! The biological parents, the social workers!! I have a short amount of tolerance for those who know better...or those that I have determined SHOULD know better....I know this is entirely MY issue and I'll be working on this. To me, it all comes down to making "good" choices. Make consistently good choices and your life will be better for it...right? (Look for a job or smoke pot all day? Buy milk for your children or buy booze? Slap your children or hug them?) I'm sorry but how can always making "good" choices result in your children be taken from you?? Ok, ok I will learn to be tolerant! I just need to keep remembering that these ADULTS were once CHILDREN who had bad ADULTS as influences...you know, the whole vicious cycle thing...
Another thing I've given a lot of thought to and have been learning about is RACE. I've been telling DH (B) all along that I don't care if we get a child that is purple, I have this need to be a momma! Well, God doesn't make purple children but he does make "red and yellow, black and white" (from the bible song "Jesus loves the little children") ones. I know that these children will be well loved by us no matter what color they may be, BUT they also some exposure to others like them. They also need to learn about their culture. The second shouldn't be a problem. Our city has a festival (and B and I love festivals!) for every ethinicity and from there we can use that to get further resources to help our future foster children. From there we'll hopefully work on the first one and make contacts with people/friends of their culture. I'm not afraid to ask for help from others whether it be ethnic hair care or multiracial play groups.
Along the same lines I've also given thought to how our future family will "present" to others. I never really gave it much thought until I read up on it. B is truly a "I am who I am, take it or leave it" kind of person, while I am...well...not. Yet another thing I'll be working on. Not just having a child with different skin color than us, but (even more so) damaged foster children acting out (rage, temper tantrums) in public. Will I care what other's think of my foster children? I certainly don't want to shout out to every stranger "I'm just the foster mom, this is not my fault!" Humility...can I learn that?