Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Just found out from J's social worker that paternal grandparents ARE going for custody. The social worker will be going there tomorrow to do the home study...

While we knew this was a possibility, it still stings, hurts and sucks:( We are sooo in love with the little guy and thought the chances of him staying with us were very high.

Please pray for healing of our hearts in this bitter sweet time. It is tough when you know he's probably not staying but will be with you regardless for up to a month longer. We will just continue to love him to pieces! As social worker stated, this is by no means a forgone conclusion.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Very little action

According to my agency and the hospital social worker, no news just means J will be with us longer...I do have mixed emotions about that. Happy for me and B, but sad for J...he doesn't deserve bad parents. Very bitter sweet.

In fact, J was supposed to have a visitation today and the coordinator could not reach either parent in order to schedule:(

In the mean time we are loving him to pieces. He is asleep in my arms now. Poor guy is having a little gas/constipation issue, but we think he is getting better thanks to Mylicon and better bottles.I am getting used to my new reality, working on my (now condensed) running schedule...not going to be as fast at my half marathon in May, but I'm okay with that!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The story thus far...

Okay so Wednesday afternoon our agency calls and says they have a preemie that is set to be released from the NICU, would we be interested? I didn't let her finish, I say YES!!! She says okaysays I'll let you know if you are selected and hangs up . She calls back in less than an hour and says "YOU GOT HIM!! Oh and you have to make it downtown to sign papers right away and pick him up at the hospital tonight." B got home from work (he ran out of gas!) and we took off!

It was exciting and scary and chaotic! We got home with him at midnight and had not eaten all day, but I didn't care, I was in love!!!!

So about him...his name is....uhh... weird spelling of a not great name...sorry that sounds terrible, but it's true. Fortunately his middle name is a great strong classic name. The NICU nurses were calling him that. So he will be called "J" for here on...
He was born at 31 weeks 2 days to bio mom with bipolar and drug addict. She tested positive for heroin at his birth. He tested positive for marijuana but they did not do a full tox screening (??) on him. He was 3lbs 12oz. at birth and was 5 weeks old and 5lbs. 10oz. when he left hospital with us. His 1 minute apgar was only 6 but went to 8 at 5 min old. He had RSV early March but has been clear and immunized since. Oh and HE IS PERFECT!!!

I slept and ate very little the first 2 days. I watched him breath when he sleeps, I was scared of SIDS and I suppose a little first time mom syndrome. Our families came this weekend and helped me with catching up on sleep etc...They bough him so much clothes/stuff!! Love!!! He poops like crazy, NEVER spits up and only cries when he really "has" to:)

My fears, AKA his case: J is biomom's 6th child and none are in her custody. Few with their dad, one adopted (!) and one in foster care. Bio dad (of course alleged, no DNA test yet--but J looks like him) just has a 10 year old who doesn't live with him. I was told by social worker that paternal grandparents are inquiring<--that concerns me but they are in their late 60's...can't image if they want to raise a baby(??) Right?? Aggg! Lots of questions. Also, I have of course been facebook stalking... Looks like the bio parents were together for about a year, were so in love after J was born, broke up when he was 3 weeks old (Dad wrote on FB: "Well ladies, I'm single, hit me up!" then FB shows nothing in the last 2 weeks J was in NICU. Also, nothing from family in his belongings...

There was court proceedings regarding him Thurs and I know nothing about it yet. His case switches over from "investigative" to regular foster as of tomorrow. I hope I learn more then...

In the mean time we are in love and just scared of getting our hearts broken...

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Well, i am holding 5ibs 10oz of pure JOY!!! Will update when I can!