Worst Blogger Ever Award Goes To....

Wow, so I haven't updated in 6 months?? First of all a big thanks to B and a "certain friend" who found this blog, for getting my butt in gear;)

Allow me to catch you up...

1.) R is still with us!! And we have TPR (termination of parental rights) hearing Jan 4. Fingers crossed the judge decides to waver the 6 month wait period for the adoption hearing:D Even though her bio-mom/dad have not seen her since she was a month old, we are close to her grandpa and Aunt. After a little drama with aunt, we have full support from family for us to adopt. I can not tell you enough how important it is for a foster to adopt parent to be pro bio-family. Our willingness to have an open relationship is how she is still with us now.

2) R's health. We are coming to grips with the fact that she may always be special needs. It is uncertain of exactly how her stroke and subsequent brain damage will affect her for the rest of her life but, she is already missing milestones beyond her adjusted age (she was also born 7 weeks early) or drug exposure would indicate. R at 9 months old can not role over, sit up or creep. A MRI will be scheduled soon along with further testing including hearing and eye...basically, we are Children's hospital regulars. LOVE early intervention, especially in our county. We have several therapists coming through our house almost daily!

Her drug exposure does make her unable to cope with stress in a regular baby way. For example if she is too tired (cold, hungry) she can get to what B calls "the point of no return". Stiff as a board and twisting, screams and NOTHING we do can calm her. Her longest fit lasted 4 hours, they are exhausting! Needless to say, we really try to not let her get there. H@ppiest B@by On The Block (book) has been a godsend to us!


3) In other news, we accepted an emergency placement of a 6 month old boy and a 16 month old girl...who, of course are still here, over a month later and it's looking like it will be at least 3 more months. While it is exciting to get to do straight foster (which we always said we would do once we had a forever child) having 3 babies so young is exhausting!! Don't get me wrong, these 2 are so cute and such a joy and we will absolutely stick it out how ever long necessary....but oh how easy one seems to us now. My car is TIGHT with 3 car seats across, my living room is always covered in toys and my sleep is always interrupted. B is incredible (in his own way) with helping and we really do enjoy the babies...so much snuggling!!!




...Just a reminder to be careful what you wish for. 9 months ago we didn't have any children/babies and now look;)


Promise to update more often!!

Wordless Wednesday

BIG Changes Take Place Fast In Foster Care!!

Oh geesh, I am the worst blogger ever!! There has been so much going on too...

To start, we sadly had to say goodbye to J on April 29th...very very sad day:( We delivered him to his grandparents with tons of clothes, supplies and instructions...all paid for by us. We didn't get around to starting his WIC (his appointment was actually that day) and our agency did very little to help with clothing. (BTW we have since learned our lesson when it comes to that) I was surprised with myself on how professional I managed to be to his grandparents considering how I felt about the situation...
Anyway, B and I went out for drinks lunch after and we probably looked like we just came from a funeral. I was very thankful that B took a half day off that day. The next day (Saturday) we got out of town!! And boy, I'm glad we did. We went to a MLB baseball game and took a long weekend to Nashville. Ate and drank too much, and slept a lot, just what we needed;)

Came back late Monday night and I felt a little lost...when was the next call coming? am I going to need to go back to work? are we able to do this time and time again??

Low and behold; Wednesday morning the phone rings:))

They had a baby girl at the children's hospital in town that needed therapeutic level foster parents. She had a rough start in her short 10 weeks on earth...born on drugs too early with no prenatal care; went into traditional foster care but 3 weeks later ended up in PICU with seizures, strokes, suspicious meningitis and frontal lobe damage:( The hospital social worker insisted that B and I sleep on it before accepting the placement because she could be a HUGE responsibility. I was ready to say yes immediately, after all this is what we went into foster care for! I ached to help her before I even met her!!

I got to meet R Thursday...oh poor baby!! She had a PICC line and pulse ox attached to her, these BIG (ok, maybe a little bulging due to the swelling) blue eyes, jaundice skin and so skinny! You could definitely see the swelling and veins in her forehead. Oh but I was IN LOVE! I was there for 5 hours the first day and many more hours by the time we left Monday evening. I learned how to mix and give her shots (all those years of fertility meds finally paid off;) in her tiny little thigh 2 x day. I also learned how to give her her anti-seizure medicine (oral liquid) and how to look for signs/symptoms of R in distress. She had MANY appointments scheduled including a weekly nurse home visit.

As the days go by she does and looks better and better! Praise God! She is pinking up and filling out. She is a beautiful angel! We also found an angel in M, her former foster mom. She helped us out tremendously! She gave us SO MANY clothes, had plenty of formula (she even got all of her May WIC allowance!) and just eons of info on R. I hope we continue to be friends and allies in R's life.

As for her bio family...mom is a piece of work! She was in jail (for a previous warrant) when R took a turn for the worst and begged the judge to let her out early so she could see and be with her baby. He allowed her to be released...did she go see her baby??? NO!! Not once!! And Children's service bent over backwards trying to get her to the hospital numerous times. R's social worker was sure to tell me that she will be telling that to the judge when she next talks to him this week. GET THIS!!! Bio maternal grandfather WANTS her adopted by us! He hasn't even met us, but social worker gave him the lowdown last Saturday when he visited:) He would like to be just a small part of R's life and that is A-OKAY by us!!

Stay tuned for more, I promise to be better!!

Blue

Just found out from J's social worker that paternal grandparents ARE going for custody. The social worker will be going there tomorrow to do the home study...

While we knew this was a possibility, it still stings, hurts and sucks:( We are sooo in love with the little guy and thought the chances of him staying with us were very high.

Please pray for healing of our hearts in this bitter sweet time. It is tough when you know he's probably not staying but will be with you regardless for up to a month longer. We will just continue to love him to pieces! As social worker stated, this is by no means a forgone conclusion.

Very little action

According to my agency and the hospital social worker, no news just means J will be with us longer...I do have mixed emotions about that. Happy for me and B, but sad for J...he doesn't deserve bad parents. Very bitter sweet.

In fact, J was supposed to have a visitation today and the coordinator could not reach either parent in order to schedule:(

In the mean time we are loving him to pieces. He is asleep in my arms now. Poor guy is having a little gas/constipation issue, but we think he is getting better thanks to Mylicon and better bottles.I am getting used to my new reality, working on my (now condensed) running schedule...not going to be as fast at my half marathon in May, but I'm okay with that!

Perfect

The story thus far...

Okay so Wednesday afternoon our agency calls and says they have a preemie that is set to be released from the NICU, would we be interested? I didn't let her finish, I say YES!!! She says okaysays I'll let you know if you are selected and hangs up . She calls back in less than an hour and says "YOU GOT HIM!! Oh and you have to make it downtown to sign papers right away and pick him up at the hospital tonight." B got home from work (he ran out of gas!) and we took off!

It was exciting and scary and chaotic! We got home with him at midnight and had not eaten all day, but I didn't care, I was in love!!!!

So about him...his name is....uhh... weird spelling of a not great name...sorry that sounds terrible, but it's true. Fortunately his middle name is a great strong classic name. The NICU nurses were calling him that. So he will be called "J" for here on...
He was born at 31 weeks 2 days to bio mom with bipolar and drug addict. She tested positive for heroin at his birth. He tested positive for marijuana but they did not do a full tox screening (??) on him. He was 3lbs 12oz. at birth and was 5 weeks old and 5lbs. 10oz. when he left hospital with us. His 1 minute apgar was only 6 but went to 8 at 5 min old. He had RSV early March but has been clear and immunized since. Oh and HE IS PERFECT!!!

I slept and ate very little the first 2 days. I watched him breath when he sleeps, I was scared of SIDS and I suppose a little first time mom syndrome. Our families came this weekend and helped me with catching up on sleep etc...They bough him so much clothes/stuff!! Love!!! He poops like crazy, NEVER spits up and only cries when he really "has" to:)

My fears, AKA his case: J is biomom's 6th child and none are in her custody. Few with their dad, one adopted (!) and one in foster care. Bio dad (of course alleged, no DNA test yet--but J looks like him) just has a 10 year old who doesn't live with him. I was told by social worker that paternal grandparents are inquiring<--that concerns me but they are in their late 60's...can't image if they want to raise a baby(??) Right?? Aggg! Lots of questions. Also, I have of course been facebook stalking... Looks like the bio parents were together for about a year, were so in love after J was born, broke up when he was 3 weeks old (Dad wrote on FB: "Well ladies, I'm single, hit me up!" then FB shows nothing in the last 2 weeks J was in NICU. Also, nothing from family in his belongings...

There was court proceedings regarding him Thurs and I know nothing about it yet. His case switches over from "investigative" to regular foster as of tomorrow. I hope I learn more then...

In the mean time we are in love and just scared of getting our hearts broken...

LIFE IS PRECIOUS!

Well, i am holding 5ibs 10oz of pure JOY!!! Will update when I can!

Whew....

This is what I've been working on the last week or so...


The two dark green pieces I really need to paint. Even have the blue paint, but I ran out of motivation. I still have wall decor coming from Etsy (told you all I love that site:) Also would like window treatments...


I know it doesn't look like much, but the "kid" room was a guest room with a queen sized bed and the furniture had to all be put together and much of it painted too. The beds I got can be bunked. I was advised to get bunks even if I don't bunk them now, I may want to in the future. The two pillows represent "girl" or "boy" room. So I just have to change pillow (I got two of each) to specify gender but trying to keep it as gender neutral as I can...



So the "kid room" is for children 3-5 years old and the baby room is set for one child under 3. Everything you see was bought from Goodwill, Second hand or garage sale!!

Intro to Foster Care:

I truly feel this was our first "test" of really being a foster parent (well, any kind of parent for that matter!) We had a great time! Little D was a total sweetheart, slept 13 hours a night, loves white milk and bananas and now Candy Land! I have a new admiration for my friends with kids now, kids are always ON...the only OFF switch is sleep;) I am not going to lie, I was a little overwhelmed Saturday morning, but by Sunday I was much more comfortable. I also have to keep in mind that D is a little attention starved, so he was just getting his "fill". Can't blame him considering all that he's been through in the last 3 months...

I am really excite to see the different little persons that will come into our lives over the next few months!

Respite

We will be doing a respite for a 5 year old little boy this weekend!! Just got the call today, we are nervous and excited! I will finally have something interesting to post about:)

Sorry I haven't blogged in foorrrevvvverrr!!!!

Still trudging along with classes for Therapeutic foster care. We have not been called with any potential matches from our foster agency. Will be officially Therapeutic foster parents by end of March...hoping for placement AT LEAST by first of April.

The potential family/friend adoption placement of a little baby boy fell through:( The potential birth father (who is a family friend of B's) says he wants to parent once paternity test comes through. Gee this news was really hard to take. And this was only a taste of what is to come with foster care. I really had a moment (or more) when I told B "I don't know if I can do this!" This guy does NOT have his life together. He owns a pit bull (mix) and he doesn't even have a crib!!! (and you know I wasn't offering ours!)

Oh boy, what are we getting ourselves into????


* One piece of good news: Half marathon training is going great and starting to see weight loss!!