Why us?

So once again, we have false hope and yet more delay...I am hoping by the fact that I'm updating my blog, TOMORROW we will have more news!

Okay, so a week ago last Friday we were told we will be licensed last Monday (10/25) YIPPEE!! And then....NOTHING! So last Wednesday (10/27) I called and I got"...ummm, yeah....I'll send out the info on classes in the mail right now" (these are classes to continue our therapeutic foster license) so I patiently waited...well it's yet another week later and STILL nothing and I don't even know if we have our foster license yet! I keep being called "anxious" when I talk to them so evidently I'm ticking them off(?)

ANYONE in Fostering have this??? I'm getting sick of the bureaucracy and we haven't even started yet!! We started our PRIDE classes in June and were told we would be licensed in 60 days if we work really hard getting our stuff in! We were VERY aggressive in getting in our info!!

Add to the fact that I've had large quantities of face*book friends make the lovely pregnancy announcements (including my cousin and B's cousin!)...I'm ready to throw in the towel and start researching domestic infant adoption...this is so hard for two reasons: 1) we've already spent $30,000 on fertility treatments and to add that again for each adoption is just crazy!! Sorry kids you can't go to Harvard, we spent that much trying to GET YOU...kidding... and 2) I have nightmares of a pregnant teen changing her mind at the last minute...literally, this is my WORST NIGHTMARE!!!

On to other news in my life...I've decided to put on my big girl panties and host Christmas this year...as an infertile, Christmas just sucks for me...no other way around it. Picturing little ones stockings hanging on the fire place, cookies out for Santa....etc...the whole shebang....just makes me tear up thinking about it!!! Will we EVER have that??? Anyway, Christmas is gonna be fun regardless this year (Dang it!) I am thinking "ugly Christmas sweater" theme...

Oh, also I signed B and I up for another Half Marathon in May!! Once again, this is so I can have short term goals...something I feel like I CAN CONTROL and have good feelings about (why yes, I am type A personality;)

AND we are going on vacation to Palm Springs, California in December:)
So I guess things are happening in my life, just not the one thing I want more than anything....

Central Registry...Budget Cuts

The news is...there is no news. Still waiting on Ohio's stamp of approval and since there is only ONE person doing ALL the checks for 88 counties in Ohio, they are extremely delayed. Bummer, but alas, it is the story of my life the last 5 + years...waiting...waiting...waiting!

The other

I realized today that I pretty much only talk about Foster/Adoption on this blog, so I thought I would let you in on a little 'bout me...

• I LOVE SUMMER!!! The hotter the better! I would probably enjoy fall much better if I wasn't already dreading the 6 months (or it seems) of winter coming around next. I literally will spend the next month or so just trying to absorb the warm sun, the green trees, fresh produce, baseball...etc you catch my drift...B is already on notice, I can NOT live in the Midwest forever!

• Since letting go of the TTC dream, I have been RELISHING having my body back! While trying to get pregnant I have done EVERY diet/restriction known, IE: no caffeine or alcohol, high protein, only organic, soy/not soy, green tea out the ying yang, I even lost 30lbs a few years ago just to see if it was the chubby that was the problem. Now I eat what I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep and exercise when and how I want.
  

The above is a picture of ME from Sunday running the final steps in my first HALF MARATHON! Yes, yours truly ran 13.1 miles...at one time! I'm not going to lie, it was hard! But the feeling of accomplishing something is HUGE!! Especially for someone who is never going to be pregnant, I needed to have my body do something right for once...and it didn't let me down this time. I am hooked on the runner's high:)

Okay one more...

• B and I love MLB baseball!! We are working on one day getting to every major league ballpark in the US and Canada. We have been to 13 out of 30 so far plus Cooperstown New York (baseball hall of fame) and Arizona leagues spring training this last March. Our hearts belong to the Cincinnati Reds and we are soooo excited to see they will probably make it to the playoffs this year!! In fact, we are going to see them play in St. Louis this weekend:)

*Foster related: we should be licensed any day now and will start our therapeutic requirements ASAP after the license is official...

DELAYED. But not derailed...

All of our pre-service classes are complete! We only have one more home study visit and we will be licensed!

Ok, now the bad...that pesky therapeutic foster care qualification and the 60 hours of classes it comes with...yeah, talked to our SW today and really tried to pin down WHEN we could expect placement. After some hemming and hauling, she said to not expect a true placement until...THE FIRST OF THE YEAR! WHAT???!! Uhhhh, yeah...I just turned in my tentitive resignation! I had a goal to have little ones in our home for Christmas this year...guess that won't be happening:(

Why therapeutic? Well, we will get YOUNGER placements this way (I am told). Any infant that tests positive for drugs at birth will be classified as therapeutic. Also extreme neglect, malnurshed babies/toddlers. These are also higher risk for TPR (termination of parental rights) too. NO "county" foster homes are considered therapeutic. They go straight to private agency. So you see, I just need to be patient!

PROGRESS!

We had our 1st homestudy and it was...a piece of cake. I LOVE our social worker! She has been battling infertility even longer than we have, so she knows our journey well. (incidentally, she said she couldn't do foster to adopt herself--wow, umm... ok?! She said it would be too hard to get attached to a little one and then get reunited with birth family...gee great news for us huh?)
Her tour of our house was like 2 minutes max and that was because I WANTED to show her stuff!

The rest of the time was spent at the kitchen table "interviewing" us. Easy, casual questions so far...she said the next session will go deeper (ie: hardest thing we've dealt with in our marriage...without a doubt, INFERTILITY! next question!)
We have 2 more classes the next two Saturdays (passive restraint and CPR) finish our home study then a week later for paperwork filing with the state, we will be official! She said we could have a child(ren?!) in our home by the end of the month...THIS month!! YEAH!!!!

I also told my boss that "the end is near"...lol:) and my days of work are numbered. She was really pretty good about it. My "replacement" is her niece that just graduated hygiene school, so I can work right up until we get our first placement. B is trying to scrape all the pennies out of me working that he can, so he is happy I don't have a quit date set in stone. I really do love my little Scrooge, he keeps me in line;)

Thanks everyone for your words of support and encouragement!!! I'm sure some of you vets to foster care are seeing my thoughts and entries as "look how green and gullible she is...she has no idea what's about to happen"...you are RIGHT and I can't wait!!!!

Disappointed

Our home study got rescheduled...35 minutes before it was to start. I know these things can happen, but "interviews" make me nervous and now I get to go through another day of nervousness. I realize this is the reality of foster care, just gotta get over it:)
Good news is my house is clean and organized now, won't have to do it again later!

Not much going on now...

Let's see...had fire inspection today and passed...almost all (read--STACKS!!) paperwork is in...home study in one week!
We were reminded last week that our agency is therapeutic foster care. Which means an extra 60 hours of class here in Ohio...joy, more classes so we can be "good" parents . Keeping that positive attitude:)
Being a therapeutic home is really not that much different, I am told. All foster kids are considered "special needs" (I mean, gee they were taken from their home!) it's more of a way our agency sets itself apart from the county department of children services. It's just going to set our time line back a month or two is the only bummer part.

Our summer and fall will be VERY busy with getting these classes in (and Buckeye games!). Our social workers keep insisting we'll have kids in our home before we've even quite finished our last class...we will see! Our director told us she thought of us the other day when they had a call for a 10 month old boy...that is frustrating, but exciting at the same time...