Oh My!! It's been 2 1/2 YEARS!!

I was just talking to some friends about Blogging and mentioned I had a blog that has been neglected. After some pushing;) I am going to give an update. Crazy over due!!

First, the wonderful news!! Rory Faith is our forever daughter!! TPR took place in January 2011 and adoption was in May 2011.

Rory is a very affectionate and lovable toddler. Unfortunately due to the amount of brain damage she sustained (from her stroke at 7 weeks old),  she is significantly developmentally delayed and has Cerebral Palsy. She is our little miracle child, though! She took her first steps at 23 months old and has been go go go ever since! She is globally delayed and functions at a 18 month old level now (she's 3 years 3 months old). She is in special needs preschool 3 mornings per week now. She loves it and will go 4 mornings in the Fall.

Second, the cute little siblings in my last entry returned to their parents after 10 months and 10 days with us (returned August 2012) There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of, worry about and miss them!

We took a 4 month break after they left and enjoyed some much needed Rory time.

Then we got a call for "Tex" His case sounded like a quick return. His 4 other siblings were not in care at the time, family wanted to ake him. In true foster care fashion, 17 months later....he's still here!

Long story, but things started moving towards TPR even though there was still a possibility for out of state kin to step in. We were encouraged to take Tex's then 3 year old brother. After much thought and prayer, we took a leap of Faith and "Austin" joined us in December. We heard bad things about his behavior from his former foster mom...we were unsure about taking an "older" child...we didn't want to take him JUST to keep Tex. BEST DECISION WE'VE EVER MADE!! He's such a good kid!!

So then in February, out of state kin's paper work went through and they started visits. We were CRUSHED! But in April we heard they changed their minds about taking them! Now we are waiting on TPR next month and hoping no more family comes out of the woodwork! 

In the mean time, we are just enjoying our family:) 

I PROMISE to be better about posting!!

Worst Blogger Ever Award Goes To....

Wow, so I haven't updated in 6 months?? First of all a big thanks to B and a "certain friend" who found this blog, for getting my butt in gear;)

Allow me to catch you up...

1.) R is still with us!! And we have TPR (termination of parental rights) hearing Jan 4. Fingers crossed the judge decides to waver the 6 month wait period for the adoption hearing:D Even though her bio-mom/dad have not seen her since she was a month old, we are close to her grandpa and Aunt. After a little drama with aunt, we have full support from family for us to adopt. I can not tell you enough how important it is for a foster to adopt parent to be pro bio-family. Our willingness to have an open relationship is how she is still with us now.

2) R's health. We are coming to grips with the fact that she may always be special needs. It is uncertain of exactly how her stroke and subsequent brain damage will affect her for the rest of her life but, she is already missing milestones beyond her adjusted age (she was also born 7 weeks early) or drug exposure would indicate. R at 9 months old can not role over, sit up or creep. A MRI will be scheduled soon along with further testing including hearing and eye...basically, we are Children's hospital regulars. LOVE early intervention, especially in our county. We have several therapists coming through our house almost daily!

Her drug exposure does make her unable to cope with stress in a regular baby way. For example if she is too tired (cold, hungry) she can get to what B calls "the point of no return". Stiff as a board and twisting, screams and NOTHING we do can calm her. Her longest fit lasted 4 hours, they are exhausting! Needless to say, we really try to not let her get there. H@ppiest B@by On The Block (book) has been a godsend to us!


3) In other news, we accepted an emergency placement of a 6 month old boy and a 16 month old girl...who, of course are still here, over a month later and it's looking like it will be at least 3 more months. While it is exciting to get to do straight foster (which we always said we would do once we had a forever child) having 3 babies so young is exhausting!! Don't get me wrong, these 2 are so cute and such a joy and we will absolutely stick it out how ever long necessary....but oh how easy one seems to us now. My car is TIGHT with 3 car seats across, my living room is always covered in toys and my sleep is always interrupted. B is incredible (in his own way) with helping and we really do enjoy the babies...so much snuggling!!!




...Just a reminder to be careful what you wish for. 9 months ago we didn't have any children/babies and now look;)


Promise to update more often!!

Wordless Wednesday

BIG Changes Take Place Fast In Foster Care!!

Oh geesh, I am the worst blogger ever!! There has been so much going on too...

To start, we sadly had to say goodbye to J on April 29th...very very sad day:( We delivered him to his grandparents with tons of clothes, supplies and instructions...all paid for by us. We didn't get around to starting his WIC (his appointment was actually that day) and our agency did very little to help with clothing. (BTW we have since learned our lesson when it comes to that) I was surprised with myself on how professional I managed to be to his grandparents considering how I felt about the situation...
Anyway, B and I went out for drinks lunch after and we probably looked like we just came from a funeral. I was very thankful that B took a half day off that day. The next day (Saturday) we got out of town!! And boy, I'm glad we did. We went to a MLB baseball game and took a long weekend to Nashville. Ate and drank too much, and slept a lot, just what we needed;)

Came back late Monday night and I felt a little lost...when was the next call coming? am I going to need to go back to work? are we able to do this time and time again??

Low and behold; Wednesday morning the phone rings:))

They had a baby girl at the children's hospital in town that needed therapeutic level foster parents. She had a rough start in her short 10 weeks on earth...born on drugs too early with no prenatal care; went into traditional foster care but 3 weeks later ended up in PICU with seizures, strokes, suspicious meningitis and frontal lobe damage:( The hospital social worker insisted that B and I sleep on it before accepting the placement because she could be a HUGE responsibility. I was ready to say yes immediately, after all this is what we went into foster care for! I ached to help her before I even met her!!

I got to meet R Thursday...oh poor baby!! She had a PICC line and pulse ox attached to her, these BIG (ok, maybe a little bulging due to the swelling) blue eyes, jaundice skin and so skinny! You could definitely see the swelling and veins in her forehead. Oh but I was IN LOVE! I was there for 5 hours the first day and many more hours by the time we left Monday evening. I learned how to mix and give her shots (all those years of fertility meds finally paid off;) in her tiny little thigh 2 x day. I also learned how to give her her anti-seizure medicine (oral liquid) and how to look for signs/symptoms of R in distress. She had MANY appointments scheduled including a weekly nurse home visit.

As the days go by she does and looks better and better! Praise God! She is pinking up and filling out. She is a beautiful angel! We also found an angel in M, her former foster mom. She helped us out tremendously! She gave us SO MANY clothes, had plenty of formula (she even got all of her May WIC allowance!) and just eons of info on R. I hope we continue to be friends and allies in R's life.

As for her bio family...mom is a piece of work! She was in jail (for a previous warrant) when R took a turn for the worst and begged the judge to let her out early so she could see and be with her baby. He allowed her to be released...did she go see her baby??? NO!! Not once!! And Children's service bent over backwards trying to get her to the hospital numerous times. R's social worker was sure to tell me that she will be telling that to the judge when she next talks to him this week. GET THIS!!! Bio maternal grandfather WANTS her adopted by us! He hasn't even met us, but social worker gave him the lowdown last Saturday when he visited:) He would like to be just a small part of R's life and that is A-OKAY by us!!

Stay tuned for more, I promise to be better!!

Blue

Just found out from J's social worker that paternal grandparents ARE going for custody. The social worker will be going there tomorrow to do the home study...

While we knew this was a possibility, it still stings, hurts and sucks:( We are sooo in love with the little guy and thought the chances of him staying with us were very high.

Please pray for healing of our hearts in this bitter sweet time. It is tough when you know he's probably not staying but will be with you regardless for up to a month longer. We will just continue to love him to pieces! As social worker stated, this is by no means a forgone conclusion.

Very little action

According to my agency and the hospital social worker, no news just means J will be with us longer...I do have mixed emotions about that. Happy for me and B, but sad for J...he doesn't deserve bad parents. Very bitter sweet.

In fact, J was supposed to have a visitation today and the coordinator could not reach either parent in order to schedule:(

In the mean time we are loving him to pieces. He is asleep in my arms now. Poor guy is having a little gas/constipation issue, but we think he is getting better thanks to Mylicon and better bottles.I am getting used to my new reality, working on my (now condensed) running schedule...not going to be as fast at my half marathon in May, but I'm okay with that!

Perfect

The story thus far...

Okay so Wednesday afternoon our agency calls and says they have a preemie that is set to be released from the NICU, would we be interested? I didn't let her finish, I say YES!!! She says okaysays I'll let you know if you are selected and hangs up . She calls back in less than an hour and says "YOU GOT HIM!! Oh and you have to make it downtown to sign papers right away and pick him up at the hospital tonight." B got home from work (he ran out of gas!) and we took off!

It was exciting and scary and chaotic! We got home with him at midnight and had not eaten all day, but I didn't care, I was in love!!!!

So about him...his name is....uhh... weird spelling of a not great name...sorry that sounds terrible, but it's true. Fortunately his middle name is a great strong classic name. The NICU nurses were calling him that. So he will be called "J" for here on...
He was born at 31 weeks 2 days to bio mom with bipolar and drug addict. She tested positive for heroin at his birth. He tested positive for marijuana but they did not do a full tox screening (??) on him. He was 3lbs 12oz. at birth and was 5 weeks old and 5lbs. 10oz. when he left hospital with us. His 1 minute apgar was only 6 but went to 8 at 5 min old. He had RSV early March but has been clear and immunized since. Oh and HE IS PERFECT!!!

I slept and ate very little the first 2 days. I watched him breath when he sleeps, I was scared of SIDS and I suppose a little first time mom syndrome. Our families came this weekend and helped me with catching up on sleep etc...They bough him so much clothes/stuff!! Love!!! He poops like crazy, NEVER spits up and only cries when he really "has" to:)

My fears, AKA his case: J is biomom's 6th child and none are in her custody. Few with their dad, one adopted (!) and one in foster care. Bio dad (of course alleged, no DNA test yet--but J looks like him) just has a 10 year old who doesn't live with him. I was told by social worker that paternal grandparents are inquiring<--that concerns me but they are in their late 60's...can't image if they want to raise a baby(??) Right?? Aggg! Lots of questions. Also, I have of course been facebook stalking... Looks like the bio parents were together for about a year, were so in love after J was born, broke up when he was 3 weeks old (Dad wrote on FB: "Well ladies, I'm single, hit me up!" then FB shows nothing in the last 2 weeks J was in NICU. Also, nothing from family in his belongings...

There was court proceedings regarding him Thurs and I know nothing about it yet. His case switches over from "investigative" to regular foster as of tomorrow. I hope I learn more then...

In the mean time we are in love and just scared of getting our hearts broken...

LIFE IS PRECIOUS!

Well, i am holding 5ibs 10oz of pure JOY!!! Will update when I can!

Whew....

This is what I've been working on the last week or so...


The two dark green pieces I really need to paint. Even have the blue paint, but I ran out of motivation. I still have wall decor coming from Etsy (told you all I love that site:) Also would like window treatments...


I know it doesn't look like much, but the "kid" room was a guest room with a queen sized bed and the furniture had to all be put together and much of it painted too. The beds I got can be bunked. I was advised to get bunks even if I don't bunk them now, I may want to in the future. The two pillows represent "girl" or "boy" room. So I just have to change pillow (I got two of each) to specify gender but trying to keep it as gender neutral as I can...



So the "kid room" is for children 3-5 years old and the baby room is set for one child under 3. Everything you see was bought from Goodwill, Second hand or garage sale!!

Intro to Foster Care:

I truly feel this was our first "test" of really being a foster parent (well, any kind of parent for that matter!) We had a great time! Little D was a total sweetheart, slept 13 hours a night, loves white milk and bananas and now Candy Land! I have a new admiration for my friends with kids now, kids are always ON...the only OFF switch is sleep;) I am not going to lie, I was a little overwhelmed Saturday morning, but by Sunday I was much more comfortable. I also have to keep in mind that D is a little attention starved, so he was just getting his "fill". Can't blame him considering all that he's been through in the last 3 months...

I am really excite to see the different little persons that will come into our lives over the next few months!

Respite

We will be doing a respite for a 5 year old little boy this weekend!! Just got the call today, we are nervous and excited! I will finally have something interesting to post about:)

Sorry I haven't blogged in foorrrevvvverrr!!!!

Still trudging along with classes for Therapeutic foster care. We have not been called with any potential matches from our foster agency. Will be officially Therapeutic foster parents by end of March...hoping for placement AT LEAST by first of April.

The potential family/friend adoption placement of a little baby boy fell through:( The potential birth father (who is a family friend of B's) says he wants to parent once paternity test comes through. Gee this news was really hard to take. And this was only a taste of what is to come with foster care. I really had a moment (or more) when I told B "I don't know if I can do this!" This guy does NOT have his life together. He owns a pit bull (mix) and he doesn't even have a crib!!! (and you know I wasn't offering ours!)

Oh boy, what are we getting ourselves into????


* One piece of good news: Half marathon training is going great and starting to see weight loss!!

Things are begining to happen!

Just a quick update...on vacation in California now. Sounds like we picked a great week to go. Ohio is very cold and snowy right now..

This morning (hello, 5:00am pacific time!) Our agency called. About a placement. Already. It was for a 6 and 7 year old and possibly baby sister. Up for adoption...uggg....we were warned this would be hard. Just not ready and to be honest, they are a little older than we hoped...We were warned about the guilt we would feel, and all I have to say is they were right! I wish we could say yes. It just didn't feel "right".

The other thing is...and this has been weighing heavy on my heart, we have a friend of the family situation. My MIL's best friend's son (follow that?)is most likely the father of a baby boy born in late September that is still in a local hospital--born early and possibly + for drugs. The mother is having her parental rights removed due to drug addiction, and a paternity test for determining if he's the father is in the works. I have heard 3rd hand that the family wants us to adopt this little guy. I am beyond excited, by my hands are so tied...have to wait it out. The family knows how we feel and how much we would love to adopt. It really would be a great situation for the family. Grandparents and father can be active in his life. Anyway, big prayers going out to this babe "L".

We are making progress on our continued therapeutic foster classes. They are definitely very interesting and eye opening!

Licensed!

Just found out we are licensed as of November 5th! We will be signing up for the 60 additional classes to continue our Therapeutic license this week. 18 hours can be done w/home study so if my math is right that's 42 classroom hours remaining...with an average of 9 hours/week..minus vacation week and Christmas...I think we can be completed by the end of February (?).


With placement goal being...(((drum roll, please)))



March 2011!!!!!!


Gotta love having a goal:)


Big, HUGE thanks everyone for the comments and support. Means a lot to us!!!!!!!!!!!

This makes my heart smile!!!

"Adoptive families are shining examples of the care and concern that define our great Nation. To support adoption in our communities, my Administration is working with States to support families eager to provide for children in need of a place to call home. The landmark Affordable Care Act increases and improves the Adoption Tax Credit, enabling adoption to be more affordable and accessible. As part of the Adoption

Incentives program, States can also receive awards for increasing adoptions and the number of children adopted from foster care. AdoptUsKids, a project of the Department of Health and Human Services, offers technical support to States, territories, and tribes to recruit and retain foster and adoptive families; provides information and assistance to families considering adoption; and supports parents already on that journey. I encourage all Americans to visit AdoptUsKids.org or ChildWelfare.gov/Adoption for information and resources on adoption, including adoption from foster care."

Full article:

http://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2010/11/01/presidential-proclamation-national-adoption-month

*Yes, I voted for him, and Yes I am glad--please keep your own political opinions on your own blog, not on my comments:) THANK YOU!*

Why us?

So once again, we have false hope and yet more delay...I am hoping by the fact that I'm updating my blog, TOMORROW we will have more news!

Okay, so a week ago last Friday we were told we will be licensed last Monday (10/25) YIPPEE!! And then....NOTHING! So last Wednesday (10/27) I called and I got"...ummm, yeah....I'll send out the info on classes in the mail right now" (these are classes to continue our therapeutic foster license) so I patiently waited...well it's yet another week later and STILL nothing and I don't even know if we have our foster license yet! I keep being called "anxious" when I talk to them so evidently I'm ticking them off(?)

ANYONE in Fostering have this??? I'm getting sick of the bureaucracy and we haven't even started yet!! We started our PRIDE classes in June and were told we would be licensed in 60 days if we work really hard getting our stuff in! We were VERY aggressive in getting in our info!!

Add to the fact that I've had large quantities of face*book friends make the lovely pregnancy announcements (including my cousin and B's cousin!)...I'm ready to throw in the towel and start researching domestic infant adoption...this is so hard for two reasons: 1) we've already spent $30,000 on fertility treatments and to add that again for each adoption is just crazy!! Sorry kids you can't go to Harvard, we spent that much trying to GET YOU...kidding... and 2) I have nightmares of a pregnant teen changing her mind at the last minute...literally, this is my WORST NIGHTMARE!!!

On to other news in my life...I've decided to put on my big girl panties and host Christmas this year...as an infertile, Christmas just sucks for me...no other way around it. Picturing little ones stockings hanging on the fire place, cookies out for Santa....etc...the whole shebang....just makes me tear up thinking about it!!! Will we EVER have that??? Anyway, Christmas is gonna be fun regardless this year (Dang it!) I am thinking "ugly Christmas sweater" theme...

Oh, also I signed B and I up for another Half Marathon in May!! Once again, this is so I can have short term goals...something I feel like I CAN CONTROL and have good feelings about (why yes, I am type A personality;)

AND we are going on vacation to Palm Springs, California in December:)
So I guess things are happening in my life, just not the one thing I want more than anything....

Central Registry...Budget Cuts

The news is...there is no news. Still waiting on Ohio's stamp of approval and since there is only ONE person doing ALL the checks for 88 counties in Ohio, they are extremely delayed. Bummer, but alas, it is the story of my life the last 5 + years...waiting...waiting...waiting!

The other

I realized today that I pretty much only talk about Foster/Adoption on this blog, so I thought I would let you in on a little 'bout me...

• I LOVE SUMMER!!! The hotter the better! I would probably enjoy fall much better if I wasn't already dreading the 6 months (or it seems) of winter coming around next. I literally will spend the next month or so just trying to absorb the warm sun, the green trees, fresh produce, baseball...etc you catch my drift...B is already on notice, I can NOT live in the Midwest forever!

• Since letting go of the TTC dream, I have been RELISHING having my body back! While trying to get pregnant I have done EVERY diet/restriction known, IE: no caffeine or alcohol, high protein, only organic, soy/not soy, green tea out the ying yang, I even lost 30lbs a few years ago just to see if it was the chubby that was the problem. Now I eat what I want to eat, sleep when I want to sleep and exercise when and how I want.
  

The above is a picture of ME from Sunday running the final steps in my first HALF MARATHON! Yes, yours truly ran 13.1 miles...at one time! I'm not going to lie, it was hard! But the feeling of accomplishing something is HUGE!! Especially for someone who is never going to be pregnant, I needed to have my body do something right for once...and it didn't let me down this time. I am hooked on the runner's high:)

Okay one more...

• B and I love MLB baseball!! We are working on one day getting to every major league ballpark in the US and Canada. We have been to 13 out of 30 so far plus Cooperstown New York (baseball hall of fame) and Arizona leagues spring training this last March. Our hearts belong to the Cincinnati Reds and we are soooo excited to see they will probably make it to the playoffs this year!! In fact, we are going to see them play in St. Louis this weekend:)

*Foster related: we should be licensed any day now and will start our therapeutic requirements ASAP after the license is official...

DELAYED. But not derailed...

All of our pre-service classes are complete! We only have one more home study visit and we will be licensed!

Ok, now the bad...that pesky therapeutic foster care qualification and the 60 hours of classes it comes with...yeah, talked to our SW today and really tried to pin down WHEN we could expect placement. After some hemming and hauling, she said to not expect a true placement until...THE FIRST OF THE YEAR! WHAT???!! Uhhhh, yeah...I just turned in my tentitive resignation! I had a goal to have little ones in our home for Christmas this year...guess that won't be happening:(

Why therapeutic? Well, we will get YOUNGER placements this way (I am told). Any infant that tests positive for drugs at birth will be classified as therapeutic. Also extreme neglect, malnurshed babies/toddlers. These are also higher risk for TPR (termination of parental rights) too. NO "county" foster homes are considered therapeutic. They go straight to private agency. So you see, I just need to be patient!